September 2, 2010

Jed is still working in New York. A couple weeks ago, they flew me out to see him instead of flying him home for the weekend. It was nice to have a break. We went to the statue of Liberty and to Ellis island. We did a lot of walking. I took a taxi and the subway for the first time in my life. We went to Times square and Central park. I was only there 2 1/2 days, so we did as much as we could. I was so tired when I got home, but it was well worth it. Thanks Mitch for watching kids so I could go. Thanks Larry for making it all happen. Thanks Chris for the hotel when I got delayed in Charlotte. And thanks Teena for the great rate on a hotel at Times Square.

After this weekend, Jed has a follow up appointment with his doctor, and then goes back to New York for a week or two. After that, he is supposed to be working out of the office on a regular basis. We are hoping this holds true, but know better than to expect it until we see it. As for his shoulder, it's okay. It will take a while to be back to normal, but at least he can use it. It gets sore and achy, but with time and exercise, it will get better.

The kids have been in school for over a month now. They are really looking forward to the long weekend. Alyson is starting to get literature in the mail from colleges, and it's exciting for her. Kind of bittersweet for me. I am so proud of her determination to get a great education. But, I will miss her when she's gone off to school. Tyson is loving being in High School. He is doing so well, and keeping his grades up. He is taking an agriculture class which puts him into FFA. He is really enjoying that, and loves the days they go work at the farm. I am glad that he has found something that he really enjoys. He says he can't wait to be able to drive the tractor. Alexys and Hannah keep busy with school and are both very dedicated to getting their work done and being good friends. They are great examples to their classmates. Both of their teachers have sent home letters telling how much they appreciate them in class.

After my last appointment with the Endocrinologist, the one who wanted all the tests again, I wasn't very happy. I didn't think he should be starting over again. I wanted to see progress in my condition. I didn't know if it was me, or if it was him, but I wasn't getting a very good feeling overall about my visit. So, after consulting with my Primary Care Physician and my insurance company, I decided to see a different doctor. So I had my first visit last week with the new endocrinologist. I was much happier with this one. I felt like I was being heard, and not just another person. The doctor actually took the time to describe in detail the test results from my previous testing. She then said that I had to have a biopsy, because at this point they have to rule out cancer. Then they can go from there. She said there was no point in doing the testing again, because it wouldn't change what they already found. So, they took 10 vials of blood to run a bunch of tests to check a bunch of stuff. She ordered a bone density scan and a biopsy. I go in for both of these on September 13. I have done research on the biopsy, and to be honest, it scares me to death. I compared it to childbirth to a friend. I said you hope for the best, but expect the worst. Then if it's not the worst, you'll be okay. I try to stay informed, but maybe this time I should have gone in blindly. I get anxiety just thinking about it. I have a lot of emotions when I think about my health right now. I am glad to find out why I don't feel well, but scared as well. I hope I'm ready for all the changes that will happen, but not sure if I am. I am a self described control freak. Maybe I really need this lesson in my life. I am a fixer. I take care of others. I love being a mom and wife, and I am afraid of letting people down if I can't do it all. It's incredibly hard for me to ask for help, and I am very nervous about all of this. If it is cancer, there's a lot of help I will need through treatment. If it's not cancer, I will still need help as I continue to find out why I'm always sick, and as I get better.

So sorry to ramble on, but I really need it. I find a sense of healing after I can get it all out. At the same time, it makes it more real to me. That is why sometimes I ignore posting an update until my friends remind me that I need to.

Anyway, thank you all for your love and support. Thanks for caring about us enough to keep up with us. Hugs and kisses to all of you from all of us. Until next time, probably after biopsy,
T